I flew back home to California today for the first time since summer, which was quite strange by the way. That’s a whole different story though, and not at all the point of this blog.
I had a layover in Houston and went to get dinner. After dragging around my fat duffel bag and heavy backpack all day, my mood was not at a peak. I had no cash, my back hurt, I was in such a weird emotional state, and just overall probably not the most fun person to be around. I ordered my Panda Express (mushroom chicken…mmmmmm) and somehow managed to maneuver my jacket, duffel, backpack, and bag of food to a table. I sat down to eat and glanced out the window and stopped completely dead in my tracks.
Right as I looked, the sun peeked out from behind a sky full of grey clouds. Now I’m talking one of those greeting card moments, the ones where the sunlight shines in shimmering beams that you can see and you see this perfect sphere peek its head from behind the clouds. It was absolutely stunning. People were rushing around me, in a hurry to get to some important place and meet some important people and do some important things. But I just sat there, fork in mid-air, staring at this glorious sight. It was incredible! And the amazing thing is that it remained there just as long as it took to eat my dinner. As soon as I took my last bite, the sun disappeared behind the clouds again.
I absolutely love when God romances my heart like that. He saw that I was broken, nervous about seeing everyone at home for the first time, emotionally overwhelmed, and just plain tired, and he met me at that place. He met me in the middle of the airport food court as I sat by myself, alone and exhausted.
I went and wrote in my journal afterwards, and I feel like that moment was God’s way of telling me this: “Hey, Lauren. You know those grades you’re worried about, those friendships you’re afraid to dive back into, your fears about how home will have changed, that relationship you’re just beginning, and all those other things you keep thinking about? I’m bigger than those things. Focus on me, and you will see beauty so much more lasting and so much grander than anything you could ever imagine. I love you, and if you would just stop trying to take the wheel, I could take you on the adventure of a lifetime.”
I needed that.
